dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
