think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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