I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
