i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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