Your mouth is God's brothel.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
