look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
