Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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