dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Couch. On fire.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
