so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
