He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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