Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Holy shit dude........stairs
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
