Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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