For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
