Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Are my feet made of real feet?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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