my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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