I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
