i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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