i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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