sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
