Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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