you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
