Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
