I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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