remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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