i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When did angry sex become our thing?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
