you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize