What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize