She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
