I need help removing her.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
