Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
