i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
NoShamevember. You game?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
