So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
