Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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