Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
