its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
