he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize