Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
it hurts more in the daytime
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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