Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
