apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
