Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
