Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
When are your genitals available?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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