we have pet lesbian snakes
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
