What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
