How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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