he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
