Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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