I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
