I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
