pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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