who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
What a dumb baby whore.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
