Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
