She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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