When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
