Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
