That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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