Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
